test
I finally got a response from the doctor about the urine culture and the ultrasound that had been done to figure out what was causing all the discomfort. The urine culture apparently was "contaminated" and contained mixed flora. So the doctor said that it was probably fine. She said that the ultrasound revealed a small uterine fibroid and an ovarian cyst.
She started explaining cysts by saying that every woman gets them during their cycle and that they usually go away. She was acting like it was no big deal. Maybe she is right. Of course, there was one problem with her "every woman gets them so it isn't a big deal" theory: in the theory, every woman with a regular cycle gets them right before she gets her period; in reality: I had that ultrasound almost exactly 1 month ago and I still haven't had a period. So, forgive me, if I'm not completely sold on that being a normal thing. If she had said it was small or didn't look like it was causing any problems, then I might be more sold on the theory. She didn't say that, though.
Actually, she didn't say it was huge or anything of the sort. She did say, though, that she thought it was causing a lot of my abdominal discomfort. So, even though normal-routine-every-woman-gets-them-every-single-month cysts can cause some pain, I don't think they cause pain that goes up into the upper quadrants of the abdomen. That is what makes me think that this isn't just your run of the mill cysts.
I am wondering if any of it has anything to do with PCOS, which I was diagnosed with back in November of 2008. (I actually remember the week it got diagnosed because I remember starting on Metformin right after I got back from seeing the Twilight premiere.) I guess I should probably make sure to call my gynecologist to see what he has to say. Also, it's been almost a year since I've seen him, so it might be a good idea for me to go get a check-up.
Before you ever argue against a movement, it is best to understand what it is that movement stands for. It is also best to understand how that movement's stance applies to you. A prime example of this is the "We Are the 99%" Movement and the backlash amongst some people.
First of all, people need to understand what the movement is about. Almost one month before the protests began on Wall Street, a blog on Tumblr began with people explaining how financial situations were impacting their lives. It was done in a very simple way, with an image of them holding up a note. Like many things on the internet, especially on Tumblr, it spread like wildfire and became a protest slogan.
The movement is not about being lazy. It is not about whining. It is not about being uneducated or being parasites. It is not about thinking that people deserve more than they get. It is simply about how people making up the movement are sick of being ignored by those who hold the power, aka the money, in the country.
The terminology regarding this movement is not new. Â It has been around quite a while. Â The wealthiest one percent became a catchphrase in the 2000 Presidential candidate debates. In 2006, Jamie Johnson, heir to the Johnson & Johnson fortune, made a documentary called "The One Percent" and showed the growing disparity in wealth amongst the citizens of America. It was also mentioned by Nobel a laureate and Columbia University economics Professor Joseph Stiglitz in a Vanity Fair article in May of 2011.
So if this disparity is nothing new, then maybe we should take a better look at what the disparity actually is. The richest one percent of Americans (aka those making over one million dollars) now take home around twenty-four percent of the income in this country, which is up drastically from the almost 9 percent that it was at in 1976. This means that the United States has more unequal distribution of wealth than countries like Nicaragua, Venezuela, China, and India; countries we seem to generally pretend like we are better than. The countries that we are closest to, when it comes to the disparity, are Russia and Iran. In 1986, the wealthiest Americans made up 12 percent of the population and thirty-three percent of the overall wealth of the country. Now, it is one percent with forty percent of the country's wealth. In 1980, the C.E.O.'s of the largest American companies made 42 times more than the average worker. By 2001, the C.E.O.'s made 531 times as much. (In Europe, this difference is currently at 25:1.) The 299 CEOs of companies listed on the S&P 500 Index made a combined $3.4 billion per year. That amount alone could pay for incomes for 102,325 average American jobs. And between 1980 and 2005, more than four-fifths of the total increase in incomes in American went to the richest one percent. The current disparity of wealth rivals that of the Depression era.
Now, this change in income might have been more ignored if 9/11, and the subsequent Bush tax cuts, recession, and various economic recovery packages (bailouts) hadn't come into play. The tax cuts didn't just go to those in the lower income brackets, they also went to the most affluent Americans. The justification was that the lessened tax burden would create new jobs and stimulate the economy. We now have 9.6% unemployment, a number that is slowly getting better, and this is still the justification being used by many within the Republican and other fiscally conservative political parties and organizations. It seems that if the tax breaks on the wealthy stimulated job growth, then they would have done so already.
But this is not the belief shared by those promoting the taxes. Instead, some want to cancel programs, like Social Security and unemployment, that benefit the lower income brackets. Others, like Herman Cain, want to increase taxes on the lower income brackets, while decreasing taxes on the upper brackets. Putting more of the country's financial burden on the poorer citizens is not right. These are people who cannot afford to pay more in taxes, which one might think would be obvious to those proposing the taxes, but is apparently not. Instead, if the argument is used, then the comments of how increased taxes on the upper echelon is somehow a punishment for being successful. Wouldn't it counter that increased taxes on the poor is a punishment for not having enough success?
It has been suggested by Robert H. Frank of Cornell University, Adam Seth Levine of Vanderbilt University, and Oege Dijk of the European University Institute that inequality leads to more financial distress. The basis was census data, which showed that places where inequality increased the most also endured the greatest surges in bankruptcies. They compared it to the same kind of behavior that takes place after any windfall, where those with the money go and buy more to show off their wealth, while those right below try to catch up and end up going into too much debt.
Other scholars have found that there are more divorces in areas with rising inequality. It is believed that this is a byproduct of the financial distress. When the families fall apart, people are more likely to become depressed or to develop stress-related health issues. Â An increase in divorces can also impact the ability of a child. whose parents are divorcing, to succeed in school.
More studies show that there are even more issues for those who do not make the highest incomes in the country, including health problems of both the mental and physical varieties. People who have lost their job and have trouble finding work for a long period of time end up having lower self-esteem, which makes it even harder for them to get a job. These people then have a harder time with family members and friends, which can lead to their support system slowly (or quickly) disappearing. The less support they have, the harder it will be for them to ever get back on their feet.
Once upon a time, not so long ago, if we wanted to discuss the problems of improper distribution of wealth, we would look to Latin America. Unlike the United States, these countries like Brazil that have had such disparities in the past have worked hard to change their ways. Their work has paid off, while our social inaction has caused our country and our fellow citizens more strife. Â So while their economies strengthen, we see ours crumble more and more, but we don't seem to understand that we are causing our own problems.
Increases of inequality is the flipside of something that we seem to forget: shrinking opportunity. The less opportunity a person has to achieve, the higher the inequality goes. This contributes to a monopoly of power and to special treatment being given to those in power. This keeps our young people from achieving in education and innovation, which causes our country to begin a dangerous path down the road of intellectual and economic stagnation. We become like tarnished silver that never gets polished. The neglect that we apply to our own people ends up causing our country to become less and less impressive and less and less significant of a contributor to the world.
But whenver anyone tries to change this new "norm" terms like "socialist", "communist", "Marxist", or "lazy" get thrown around. People start making comparisons to Stalin and Hitler, but don't understand that they are applying these terms to the wrong people. The activists become some kind of enemy to the nation, and we pretend that activists have never helped this country in any way. This ignores the fact that the country has reached some of its highest achievements from activism and from challenging the norms. Â It also ignores the fact that there are countries where being more fiscally equal has proven to be a benefit to a society rather than an impediment. Â And most importantly, it ignores that while we are denigrating the supporters of equality, we are allowing those who are oppressing so many Americans to continue their oppressive ways.
Most members of the House of Representatives and almost all United States Senators are already members of the one percent when they arrive in Congress. They are kept in power by money from the top one percent, and know that if they cater to their fellow one-percenters that they will be greatly rewarded when they leave office. Most policymakers within the trade and economic fields also come from the one percent. And with lobbying gifts and the newer deregulations on campaign donations from companies becoming the norm, it becomes harder and harder for those without enough of the Benjamins to even be heard. It also becomes harder and harder to ever expect a bill that taxes the wealthy fairly because they technically, for lack of a better term, own the country.
And all of this contributes to the dislike of the control from that top one percent by those within the ninety-nine percent movement. Within the movement, people have seen the glorification of the rich and the condemnation of the poor, and it has upset them. And then the disdain from fellow members of the ninety-nine percent has confused them. The members of the movement understand that, regardless of what a person might think, all members of that ninety-nine percent have been negatively impacted by this love fest with that one percent. Whether the impact is in the form of a job, an education, poor environmental controls on pollution,their personal health or the health of a family member, or just a pure lack of opportunity, all members of that 99 percent have been impacted.
Lessening the funding to public schools, for example, leads to teachers losing their jobs. That leads to increased class sizes, which keeps children from getting the individual time with the teacher that is so necessary to get a proper education. It also leads to less attention being paid to any possible learning or behavior problems that might impact a student. These things keep a child from succeeding in the ways that they might have been able to succeed if their school system had been properly funded. By impeding their education at such a young age, their future becomes more and more limited. Children who might have gone on to become doctors, instead might be kept from acheiving higher education or might be forced to drop out of high school. The lack of any degree would cause them to make less and would make it harder for them to get proper training in many fields, which would then impact the productivity of that person and the productivity of the society in general. It would also impact the productivity of future generations that might not be given adequate chances at success because of the failings of previous generations. This would perpetuate very dangerous economic and social cycles that could drastically damage the potential for success that this nation might otherwise have.
When the founders of this nation declared their independence from George III, they based that claim of independence on rights, fairness, and equality. And though there were some who didn't support total equality and others who had to support less equality because of the social norms of the time, it is unlikely that any ever imagined that this country would become a basic den of iniquity. Our most sacred and basic freedoms and opportunities as Americans have been sold to the highest bidders, turning our country's leaders into prostitutes. Our country that held such high hopes for so many who sought our shores because of the great "American dream" has become a country where daily it becomes more and more unlikely for a middle-class citizen to ever make it to the top. In fact, it is easier to do so in European countries than it is to do so here.
The same inequalities that triggered some of the protesting in the Arab Spring movements are being visited upon American families at increasing rates, with food prices and costs of living going up and likelihood of adequate employment (particularly among the youth) dwindling. One out of six Americans desiring a full-time job is unable to get one. One out of seven Americans is on food stamps. So few jobs and so little ability to adequately get food makes people angry. I would say ask Gadhafi what happens to societies where this inequality is continuously perpetuated and glorified, but I think we all know what happened there. And it isn't just the recent Arab Spring stuff or the Occupy Wall Street protests that should wake people up to the possible future that lies before us if we do not change our ways.
Look at the history of this kind of behavior. Look at the French Revolution. Why did that happen? Look at the February Revolution of 1917. Why did the Bolsheviks hold so much of a following? People didn't just have revolutions because revolting was fun. They did it because their pockets and their bellies were empty. And I am not advocating a violent revolution by saying this, but saying that the justification for a peaceful demonstration pointing out the disparity should not be seen as something unworthy of our attention or concern. I'm also saying that we should look at what we can do to make this country better before anymore families are forced to go hungry or go without heat during the winter or to lose their houses or to lose their jobs.
The protests, whether on the internet or in a public setting, are showing us that we need to change. Â We need to realize that the poor are not evil and deserving of disdain. Â We need to realize that allowing Americans to go without the basic necessities for life is not justice and is not the thing that a free nation does. Â We need to realize that the only way to make the world a better place is to realize that change is a true necessity. Â It is not simply a desire of the young and idealistic. Â It is an outright need for our country to survive. Â Without changing our ways, we repeat the sins of the past that led people and nations to destruction. Â That path of destruction is not the path that we should try to be on. Â We should be willing to make things better and to not just accept the status quo, because only then will be the country that we set out to be in the 18th century. Â Only then will we truly become the America that we were meant to be.
To those who are not in the top one percent of wealth-holders or income-earners but like to pretend that they're more important than the poorest of the 99%, maybe you should look more closely at things. No matter how well prepared you think you are or how much better you think you are than those protesting or those going hungry, you should never overestimate your own position. You may have enough to make it a while if you lost your job. Most of the newly-impoverished did, too. You may have enough food to not go hungry for a while. Some of the impoverished even had that. But no one is truly prepared for the real burdens of the class warfare that is going on in this country. It isn't something a person can prepare for. You just have to be aware of where you stand in it, and you have to be willing to side with what is right versus what you think is in your pocket's best interest.
To those who are in the top 1%, but are who are, at the same time, dismissive of the bottom 99%, it might be important to remember that you did not gain fortune or power all on your own. Â It was earned on the backs of those who you seem to abhor. Â Pretending like they are somehow insignificant to this country is not only disrespectful of them, it rewrites your personal significance to the country. Â If these people had not been been your employees or somehow connected to however you made your income, then you probably wouldn't be in your position right now.
To those who are in the top 1%, but realize just how lucky they are or how unfair the system is to those who have less, I think I speak on behalf of many of the 99% when I say that we thank you. Â We thank you for having the ability to realize that this is a world that does not just belong to the wealthy few, but belongs to all of us. Â We thank you for realizing that the inequality that exists is not helping but is hurting the chance for the American Dream to even be possible for people anymore.
I don't usually cuss (on Facebook and in real life) and I don't usually cuss at friends or family, unless I am either really pissed off or am in other heightened state. I try to be nice. I try to keep my temper in check, but I am so sick of some people.
Every time that I complain or say anything that doesn't support their ideals, I get the same two or three people coming and telling me that I am undeserving of, well, anything. Usually, they are trying to tell me how they know exactly what I can physically and mentally do, and then they use some kind of guilt trip (a comparison to someone is the typical form of guilt that they use) to make me feel bad about things I do. And I understand that they typically think that this is a wake-up call and that they are helping to show me the error of my ways, but usually it just leads to me crying and then writing some long, hateful/bitchy/whiny response to their statement. I end up feeling horrible for being alive and they end up thinking even less of me because I don't agree with them. Then things go back to normal until I say something else.
It almost feels like some of these friendships or family relationships are based on this abusive pattern. I state my opinion, usually with attitude for emphasis. They tell me how I am ignorant/uninformed/lazy I am. I feel like shit and lash back. I then realize that they only get mad at me because I opened my mouth/mind up to them in the first place, and I start thinking that the whole reason that it starts is that I am some horrible person that should keep her mouth shut so that this kind of thing won't happen. Basically, I justify what they do by taking the blame on myself completely. That isn't healthy, and I know that that isn't healthy. I mean, I've been in therapy for 20 years and there is one thing that I have learned: I am only responsible for my own actions and not someone else's. I have over 900 friends on Facebook, and a majority of them are conservative, church-going people who grew up in middle-class and upper-class families. If every person who disa greed with me was going to do so to this extent (thus making it seem more justified), then I would have hundreds of people telling me off every single time I say anything, but it doesn't happen that way. It's generally two or three people. So, that means that the relationships there are unhealthy.
So, I unfriended someone that I've known since middle school, but who only brings the drama. I also unfriended someone who is the daughter of Dadada's least favorite sibling and the mother of one of the cousins who decided to be trolls and post the video of me singing on Tosh.O's website. I needed to unfriend Alan, the friend, because he won't let go of the privileged South Huntsville mentality, even though he isn't privileged anymore. I needed to unfriend Leigh Ann because I am sick of her using her being shot by her ex-husband and coming from an abusive relationship to justify why she's able to work and how that makes me lazy. As I told her:
You got shot and you still work? Pin a rose on your freaking nose. You aren't me. I am so sick of having to hear about you getting shot. You were in an abusive relationship. Who in the Morris family hasn't been in one? Why do you think you were attracted to an abusive personality? Growing up with severely dysfunctional families does that to a person. I got all kinds of abuse from my grandfather (your uncle), but I don't go around talking about what happened with him on here constantly because I know that there are some things that I don't want to say with his siblings and his daughter and my cousins and his nieces and nephews. If I went over the abuse every single time I was trying to prove a point, then it would just make me seem even more whiny than I already am.
I need to figure out who I need in my life. I need to let go of those who I don't. And the one thing that keeps me from doing that is that I'm just afraid that I'm going to end up letting go of people who I do need and keeping the ones that I don't because I'll have some sick need to be reminded just how much I (and they) think I suck.
I need to remember what Heather said, in response to their comments:
The fact is no able bodied person, and not every disabled person, can accurately tell a disabled person how to run their life. Each disability is different even if it concerns the exact same health condition or disability, and quite frankly no one who has not got a chronic health condition has any comprehension of just how difficult life is for someone who has - no matter how sympathetic they try to be.
I think that is one of the wisest things that I've seen in a long time, especially when it comes to chronic illness.
On Wednesday evening, I went with my dad to the grocery store. I don't usually go these days, but I went this time because my mother had fallen a little earlier in the day. Even though she still uses the scooters there, I didn't think she could handle going. (I honestly didn't think she could get outside to the car.) My mom wanted to write a shopping list so that we didn't forget her food and other items. When she was writing out the list, she wrote a lot of non-words/gibberish.
While I know that sometimes we all have moments of forgetfulness, this shopping list incident plus her inability to communicate clearly and her tendency to forget things makes me very nervous. It could just be that she is getting older and that, because of her various health problems, the insane amount of psychiatric medicine that she is on, and her past history of multiple (over ten) suicide attempts (all overdoses), she is just going to begin losing more and more of her ability to "function" properly. I'm worried that it isn't. I'm also worried that because she forgets that she is so forgetful and has such trouble communicating that she won't actually attempt to tell a doctor that she is deteriorating to such an extent. I have this feeling that a trip to a neurologist would help figure out what the hell is going on in her brain, but every single time that I suggest it, she gets defensive and says that there isn't anything wrong with her. Honestly, it reminds me of t he hesitance that Dadada had around the time the doctors said that he definitely had some form of dementia. He swore that he wasn't losing his mind and that we were all just making it up to make him seem like a senile old man. (We weren't.) I really don't want to see my mom go down that road. I really don't want to be a caregiver of a dementia patient again. It was hard enough when I was little and less self-involved. I don't think I have the ability to do it anymore and I don't know if my dad could do it by himself (or with help), and I really don't want to ever have to think about putting my mom in some place where other people take care of her because I know how that can turn out.
I could just be anxious over her for no reason, but the longer it goes on, the longer I think that I probably have a very, very good reason to be anxious. Unfortunately, I can't make her go to the doctor. I could go with her when she goes to the doctor, but she could say that I was just being an evil daughter who wants to have her institutionalized and, knowing her, she would say that to protect her own warped view of the world.
I wish that there were some easy solution to this whole thing, but I know that there isn't and that's frustrating, depressing, and just plain scary.
Apparently, I am yet again bringing the lulz for my response about Joss Whedon and feminism, racism, and LGBT issues. So, I am going to try to write it without the tendency to fangirl. I will, instead, refer to Hollywood and society in general.
Being upset at one particular writer over perceived or actual tendency to sexualize one gender over another, to stick to white-majority or whites-only casts, or to stick to stereotypes of certain groups isn't exactly fair since it is common for almost every writer to stick to some ignorant schtick. That doesn't make it right or fair or good or anything. It just means that we, as a society, need to demand that everyone change instead of focusing on an individual.
There is a problem on television shows and in movies when it comes to stereotypes. Women are often weaklings and are pretty much always treated like sex objects. The gay and lesbian characters that are becoming more commonplace are still typical stereotypes. Characters of other races are almost always a stock character. Yes, all of this needs to change, but change won't take place if we focus on individuals over society as a whole.
Women are still earning less, even after laws have been passed and protests have been lodged. Different races are still looked over in favor of whites when it comes to jobs, education, and even political office. Religious groups are still scorned if they aren't considered to fall exactly in line with the societal tendency to love Protestants and (sometimes) other Christian denominations above all others. The LGBT community is still denied equal rights when it comes to marriage, adoption, and full protection from discrimination, among other things.
I have a feeling that in order to see a more multicultural and multidimensional portrayal of society on television and in movies and in literature, we have got to change the societal tendency to let unequal access slide. We have to target the unjust laws. We have to remind politicians that minorities matter. We have to stand up for ourselves and for others. We can't just expect to see differences because that's what we as individuals want. We have to demand it from our society before we can truly expect it from the world.
Do I hate that there aren't many strong female characters out there? Definitely. Do I hate seeing the same ideologies from earlier decades and centuries being revisited now? Yeah. But I don't blame one person. I blame everyone. We haven't gotten loud enough for businesses and companies to understand that this world deserves more than just the recycled crap of old. And we need to change that.
We live in a world ruled by pundits who promote agendas of intolerance and reality shows that make their money off of gross stereotyping of certain ethnic groups, so is it really any surprise that the majority of lead characters in the entertainment industry are white men, and occasionally, white women? Is it really any surprise that the only time that there are significant roles for people of color that they fit these nice little molds made years ago?
Personally, I want to scream to every time I see a schizophrenic or a bipolar character who, without drugs or any inciting action, is prone to some horrible act of violence. I hate seeing these very complex diseases get turned into gimmicks for crime dramas, but I don't blame the writers of the episodes for that. I blame every person who is okay with perpetrating that myth in the real world because those are the people who are making it okay for ignorance and tokenism to continue. Those are the people who are doing the real damage.
Remember how two weeks ago I said that I knew that the idea that neighbors were turning us in to the Community Development people was completely nuts? I was right. One of our neighbors had to go to court today over their yard, too. Why would a neighbor who wants our yard cut end up having to go to court over their own yard? It really doesn't make sense.
I guess with that being the city's case that I could have gone to trial over my yard, but I was really sick of all the crap. I took a plea. The city attorney had the fine and court costs at minimum ($100 fine plus $224 in court costs) in the deal. I now have two weeks to get it done or I'll get a new citation. I can't appeal the plea because I said I was guilty and waived that right.
The fine probably would have been higher if the guy who came by yesterday had been our normal inspector. This other inspector actually talked to my dad, which they are supposed to do every time that they inspect a property. My dad told him that we didn't know what part of the yard was even in the complaint until two weeks ago. He also told him that we're on a fixed income, and that the guy who is supposed to cut it still hasn't gotten around to it. (He also told him that the person who cuts it is our next-door neighbor.)
My dad also talked to the inspector about previous citations, including one that we got back during the summer about indoor furniture being on the front porch. (The indoor furniture in question was an old kitchen chair and, according to this inspector, wasn't a violation of the city code.) The inspector asked why we hadn't called the Community Development office (we had) or written (we had) or why we hadn't tried to get everything taken care of before now (we had). I think by talking to my dad, the other inspector got a pretty good idea about the crap that has been going on. That inspector was in court today and helped make the sentence recommendation.
There was another thing that worked in our favor. My dad was using a cane today, because he's been having some back problems lately. Apparently, that helped illustrate the whole disabled factor.
Oh, and this time I didn't say anything rude or obscene to the city attorney. Actually, this time, I tried to be very quiet and only say very, very nice and respectful things. That seemed to give him the impression that I am a nice, together, respect-worthy fellow citizen, as opposed to the ignorant shrew that he seemed to think I was last time. So, yay.
Actually, everyone was nicer today. Maybe they're nicer during the autumn months? Maybe it was me. Maybe it was the weather. Who knows?
Well, in less than 48 hours, I may get to find out if I am going to go to jail or pay some hefty fine. I really am not looking forward to this. I shouldn't be too nervous, since this is the third hearing that I've been scheduled for with this and, aside from my outburst last time and being made to feel like I was about 2 inches tall the time before, nothing has really happened this time around. I don't want to quit worrying altogether, though. I have this feeling that if I don't go in at least slightly anxious, then I will end up feeling completely overwhelmed or unprepared by whatever ends up happening.
Other than my inevitable meeting hearing with fate the judge and the city attorney, I don't think I have anything else going on this week or anytime soon. Molly is going back to the vet this week, I think, to get her stitches taken out from her surgery. My mom will probably have lots of fun chores for me to do for her.
Oh, my mom is supposed to try pool therapy. I have a feeling her trying it won't last long. I think that she truly has given up on getting around by herself and that she doesn't feel that she needs to work toward getting better. If I suggested that to her, as I have tried to do in the past, then she would freak out and act like I'm just not understanding her pain or her weakness. I understand the issues that she has. I understand them quite well. What I don't understand is how she thinks that that pain or that weakness means that she is excused from ever even trying to do anything at all. (Yeah, I know that sounds weird coming from me.)
Ugh. I've had (what feels like) a migraine brewing for a few hours now. I know that getting off the computer, shunning all electricity, etc. might help it get better, but it also might do nothing and will leave me in pain and bored.
I was going to call my family doctor to find out the results from the tests related to my last appointment, since I haven't heard back on the ultrasound and the urine culture shouldn't take too long to do. I didn't call since it was Columbus Day and I figured that their office would close up shop for a holiday. I just need to remember to call tomorrow.
